So, the American Film Institute released its top 100 movie quotes. The favorite in our office was listed at number 79, from the movie Airplane!:
“Surely you can’t be serious.”
“I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.”
As funny as that entire slapstick movie was, the unchecked rhetoric of the administration and some state legislators may be just as ridiculous. But instead of the actual quotes (see the House Journal from 6/22/05 and DOR testimony from 3/1/05), let’s look at their math:
According to the Department of Revenue, 73 percent of corporations don’t pay taxes. Shirley you can’t be serious.
The administration argues, as do their agents in the legislature, that in order to be fair, we need to pass mandatory unitary combined reporting (MUC). They then claim that under MUC, 83 percent of the companies will pay LESS in taxes. Shirley you can’t be serious.
Now, I ain’t a mathematician, I’m just a Parrot head from central Pennsylvania, but if 73 percent don’t pay taxes, how can 83 percent pay less after they implement their solution??????? Shirley you can’t be serious.
Furthermore, under their “fair” plan, the Department of Revenue admits that over 50 percent still won’t pay taxes! Only when pressed do they admit that there are legitimate reasons why a registered corporation might not pay taxes. Shirley you can’t be serious.
Now, here’s one of my favorite movie dialogs, and it’s from The American President:
“…People want leadership. And in the absence of genuine leadership, they will listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone… They’re so thirsty for it, they’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there’s no water, they’ll drink the sand.”
“…People don’t drink the sand ‘cause they’re thirsty…. They drink it ‘cause they don’t know the difference.”
Now I’M serious… stop drinking the sand! Oh yeah, and don’t call me Shirley.